Or, at least, they don’t make me publish and promote the posts in my drafts.
Last week, I mentioned on Twitter that I would be posting three posts this week to get myself in more frequent blog posting schedule. It didn’t happen. It didn’t happen because, well, life happened in a very negative way for so many people in the United States and across the world. And it has affected me immensely because I am a staunch empath. From the earthquake and the issues surrounding it in Nepal to the Bali 9 executions to the plethora of issues in Baltimore and the sheer ignorance and apathy that I have encountered surrounding it as well as the ones within the black community, I held off on publishing the rest of my drafts this week. (Side note: One of the posts I had scheduled was relevant to some of those gut-wrenching events and it will require some revising in order for it to be more relevant.) My heart and my mind have been overwhelmed with these issues as I have kept myself aware while, of course, trying to live my life here in my corner of the world. I kept pushing back the publishing of my draft on confidence and cockiness but finally did it a few days ago. However, it did not feel right after it was posted.
If I’m honest, in that moment, my primary focus was not in dialoguing about what I wrote, a mentality that contrary to how I usually feel after I hit the publish button. Usually, I am excited (and a bit nervous) about discussing the topics I write about here, looking forward to the very intelligent commentary I receive from the brilliant minds that I am grateful even bother coming over here. This will also lead me to search for other interesting posts so I can also promote them along with mine. But that was not the case. I only posted the aforementioned post twice on Twitter unenthusiastically. While my heart was in my blog post when I wrote it, my heart was not in discussing it at the moment; it was (and continues to be) in the very pertinent and serious issues that are happening in our world.
I shared with Adia a while ago how being surrounded by so much of this puts me in a state of burdensome overwhelm. It turns out she is feeling pretty similarly right now. I have also had my bouts of a more freeing feeling which has lead me to be more outspoken on these issues from time to time. But overall, I’m just really tired and trying to be hopeful while taking care of myself and the more pressing responsibilities that need my attention.
My goal with this blog, and with everything I do, is to be authentic and upfront. And I think it would be unfair to mention that I was going to put up most posts this week and not do it without mentioning my reason why. It may be weird that I feel this way being overwhelmed with so much of the pain that world is going through but I’d like to think of my sensitivity as a strength, not a weakness.
P.S. – To those who read, commented on, and shared my recent post, I seriously appreciate it. I hope that this post does not come off to mean that I don’t. I will make sure to respond to the comments as soon as I can. 🙂
How have recent events been affecting you lately? If it is affecting you, what are you doing to promote self-care? If you are a blogger, have the accumulation of negative world events ever affected whether or not you post?